Land of Oz Workshops Blog: GETTING TO YES

Land of Oz Workshops Blog: GETTING TO YES: While at a conference, I heard a story about the eminent psychiatrist, Milton Erickson, who was working with a woman with anxiety and fear ...

GETTING TO YES

While at a conference, I heard a story about the eminent psychiatrist, Milton Erickson, who was working with a woman with anxiety and fear of leaving her home. The woman’s fear was so strong that the department of social services had concluded that the woman in question could not be helped beyond supportive services including helping her with house cleaning, organization and basic self-care needs.

Erickson was a very imaginative physician and when he heard about the case he decided to visit the woman in her home. Upon entering he saw that the house was a mess and she was in a disheveled state. As he looked around, he noticed a beautiful African violet plant growing in the kitchen window. He pondered, “How can a woman who lives like this take care of and grow a plant like that?”

Erickson was a master of medical hypnosis and as he worked with her, he slowly encouraged and inspired her to propagate African violet plants and to take them to hospitals and to homes of people who were confined. Many years later when she died, the local newspaper referred to her as the African Violet Queen who brought a smile to the faces of hundreds of people. Visiting social workers had decreed that she was incapable of managing her own life. In spite of their assessment she became a super star because one person noticed something about her that no one else perceived.

Your parents most likely said “no” or “don’t” much more often than an encouraging “yes!” A UCLA parenting survey reported that the average one year old hears the word “no” over 300 times a day. Any high school or college student can get 60% of the material correct whether it is algebra, biology, history or literature and fail the class. Marriage partners look for flaws. Administrators look for areas that need improvement. Therapists are trained to look for problems. Physicians search for illness and disease.

In the early 90’s I taught Health Education at Moorpark Community College in California and asked the 20 students attending to do a ‘health oriented’ project. All 20 with no exceptions presented their findings on diseases such as cancer, arthritis, and heart disease complete with pictures. No one did research on preventative medicine or nutrition or good health habits. The students saw the word ‘health’ and interpreted it as ‘disease.’ I asked them to look at the word ‘health’ in more imaginative ways and to give another class presentation focused on ‘potential’ rather than pathology.

Positive change occurs because we look at what is possible and what can work.  My approach to counseling has always been focusing on the strengths the person possesses; their hopes and dreams rather than their problems; what they want to achieve rather than what they want to let go.

In her book Wisdom of the Psyche, Ginette Paris writes, “Depression’s opposite is not happiness; it is rather a state of mind where imagination comes alive.” Imagination is always our way out of whatever is making us feel trapped.  Imagination offers us possibilities, opens doors, helps us to reach beyond the places where we may be stuck, and says an affirmative “yes” to life.

John A. Tamiazzo is the author of Returning to the Land of Oz available at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, and Barnesandnoble.com